Category Archives: Machshava/Jewish Thought

The Costume

    Consider the absurdity of the following statement: “I know an Orthodox Jew who works on Shabbat, eats pork regularly, never wears tefillin or prays or learns Torah, is unfaithful to his/her spouse, walks bare-headed in public, or eats on Yom Kippur.” One would rightfully ask, what is it that makes that person an Orthodox Jew?

Yet, we occasionally read these days of “Orthodox” Jews who molest, steal, rob, murder, assault, spit and curse at women and little children, set fire to businesses they disfavor for one reason or another, eschew self-support, brawl, intimidate and terrorize other Jews, or are otherwise genuinely disagreeable people. So what is it that makes those people “Orthodox,” or, even holier in the public mind, “ultra-Orthodox”?

The costume they wear.

It is a mistake that is made not only by a hostile media but also by the Jewish public, including the religious Jewish public. To our detriment, we define people by their costumes – e.g., long black coats, white shirts, beards and sometimes peyot – and we ourselves create expectations of conduct based on the costume that is being worn, as if the costume necessarily penetrates to the core of the individual and can somehow mold his character and classify his spiritual state – as if the costume really means anything at all.

If the events in Bet Shemesh or elsewhere in Israel rectify that mistake once and for all, some unanticipated good would have emerged from the contentiousness.

This is more than simply stating that any “Orthodox” Jew who sins is by definition not an “Orthodox Jew.” In truth, that statement is flawed and illogical, because all people sin; the truly “Orthodox” Jew might be one of the few who still actually believe in sin – stumbling before the divine mandate – and still seek to eradicate it by perfecting himself and struggling with his nature.

But the Torah Jew is defined by a core set of beliefs, principles and religious practices. One who subscribes to that core set is Orthodox notwithstanding any personal failings he has, failings which according to the Torah he must strive to reduce and diminish. No Jew – Rabbi or layman – is allowed to carve for himself exemptions from any mitzva. That is why deviations like the female rabbi, the dilution of the bans on homosexuality, the purported officiation by an “Orthodox” rabbi at a same-sex wedding, the relentless search for obscure leniencies in order to rationalize improper conduct, and other such anomalies drew such swift and heated reactions from the mainstream Orthodox world. The violent and criminal excesses in Israel have drawn similar rebukes but the thought still lingers: why do we even expect decorous and appropriate conduct from people who are perceived as thugs even within their own community, and who have literally threatened with violence some who would criticize them publicly? Because of the costume they wear.

Many of the brutes of Bet Shemesh have been widely identified as part of the sect known as Toldos Aharon (Reb Arele’s Chasidim).* The thumbnail sketch by which they are known always includes the declaration that they “deny the legitimacy of the State of Israel,” which in today’s world should be – and largely is – identical to being a member of the Flat Earth Society. They are “devoted to the study of Torah,” reputedly. Really ? What is the nature of their Torah study ? Are they Brisker thinkers, analytical and questioning, or are they more akin to another Chasidic sect, whose rebbe famously discouraged learning Torah b’iyun (in depth) because he claimed such distances the student from Divine service ? (That rebbi preferred a superficial and speedy reading of the words of the Gemara as the ideal form of Talmud Torah. And it shows.)

But what most identifies Toldos Aharon is…their costume. This, from Wikipedia: “In Jerusalem, married men wear white and grey “Zebra” coats during the week and golden bekishes/Caftan (coats) on Shabbos. Toldos Aharon and Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok are the only groups where boys aged 13 and older (bar mitzvah) wear the golden coat and a shtreimel, as married men do; however, married men can be differentiated by their white socks, while the unmarried boys wear black socks. In other Hasidic groups, only married men wear a shtreimel. All boys and men wear a traditional Jerusalemite white yarmulke. Unmarried boys wear a regular black coat with attached belt on weekdays, unlike the married men, who wear the “Zebra” style coat.

Does any of this sartorial splendor have the slightest connection to Torah, to Orthodoxy, to living a complete Jewish life, to true divine service ? Memo to real world: there is no such concept as authentic Jewish dress. The Gemara (Shabbat 113a) states that Rav Yochanan would call his clothing “the things that honor me” (mechabduti) – but the Gemara does not see fit to even describe his clothing in the slightest fashion. Jewish dress is dignified and distinguished, clean and neat.  We are especially obligated to wear special and beautiful clothing throughout Shabbat (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 262:2-3). But beyond the tzitzit and the kippa for men, and modesty for all, there is no such thing as Jewish dress, the prevalence of contrary popular opinion notwithstanding. We are never told what Moshe, Ezra, Rabbi Akiva or the Rambam wore, and we are informed that one reason the Jews merited redemption from Egyptian because “they did not change their garb” (i.e., they did not adopt Egyptian styles) – but we are never informed what kind of clothing they did wear. Why ? Because it doesn’t matter one whit.

A sect that obsesses so much on clothing that it distinguishes the married and the unmarried by the type of socks they wear, and insists that everyone wear the same two coats, is not practicing a form of Judaism, in that respect, that is either traditional or brings honor and glory to the Creator. It is a practice that is not designed to induce others to gush about what a “wise and understanding people” we are. They are rather fabricating artificial distinctions between Jews – likely in order to foster cohesion within their small group, ward off outsiders, and better exercise mind control over their adherents. It is no wonder that such a group is not responsive to any known Rabbinic authority – not even the Edah HaChareidis – nor is it any surprise that the sect’s deviations from Judaism can be so repugnant to all Jews and all civilized people.  Surely there is more to prepare for in marriage than simply the acquisition of different color socks.

One can search in vain the Torah, the Talmud, the Rambam, the Shulchan Aruch and the classic works of our modern era for any guidelines similar to what appears above. If these hooligans wore modern garb, we would not hesitate for a moment to denounce them, to agonize over how it is they left the derech, over the failings of their parenting and education, and probably over the high cost of tuition and the toll joblessness is taking on the Jewish family. That the reaction of many to this criminal behavior is less shrill is attributable to but one cause: the costume. For some odd reason, we expect more.

We assume the costume mandates fidelity to halacha and engenders considerate and refined conduct. It doesn’t. It is unrelated. It is irrelevant to spirituality. It says nothing – nothing – about a person’s religiosity. I have dealt several times with conversion candidates who insisted on wearing Chasidic dress – who had beards, peyot, long black coats, white shirts, would never wear a tie, and wouldn’t even hold from the eruv – but they were still non-Jews. In the shuls where they davened while studying for conversion, members wondered why these frum-looking men never accepted kibbudim (honors). They didn’t, for one reason: they were not yet Jews. They just thought they were wearing the costume of Jews.

All the lamenting and hand-wringing is partially warranted, and partially misplaced. Partially warranted because we have for too long tolerated discourteous, larcenous and vicious conduct among people who self-identify because of their “dress” as religious Jews – the consistent rudeness, the unseemly “bargaining” that occurs when a bill is due, and, as one extreme example, the recent arson at Manny’s. (Manny’s is a popular religious book store in Me’ah She’arim that carried a great variety of sefarim –  including mine – that was targeted by similar violent groups for carrying “disapproved books.” The store was set on fire a few months ago, and the owners largely caved to the pressure.) None of that is “Orthodox” behavior in the slightest. And it is partially misplaced because we play the game by their rules when we gauge people’s spiritual potential – or even spiritual level – based of the coat, hat, yarmulke, shoes, socks, shirt, pants or belt that they wear. It not only sounds insane, but it is insane, and it should be stopped. No one is more religious because he wears black or less religious because he wears blue or brown.

We would never consider people who habitually violate Shabbat, Kashrut, etc. as Orthodox. We should never consider people who are routinely brutal and abusive, or have disdain – even hatred – for all other Jews outside their small sect – as Orthodox either. They embrace certain Mitzvot and dismiss others, as well as ignore fundamental Jewish values. Certainly – traditional disclaimer – these goons are but a miniscule, atypical, unrepresentative, extremist, outlier group unrelated to the greater Charedi community that is only now awakening to the dangers within.

Nonetheless, even the greater community would benefit if they too began to de-emphasize the “costume” as at all meaningful or indicative of anything substantive. The Sages state (see Tosafot, Shabbat 49a) that the custom to wear tefilin the entire day lapsed because of the “deceivers.” (One who wore tefillin all day was reputed to be trustworthy, until the thieves learned that trick and used their “tefillin” to swindle others.) Those who reduce Judaism to externals necessarily exaggerate the importance of the costume, and naturally provoke those common misperceptions that cause the Ultra-Distorters to be deemed “Ultra-Orthodox.”

Would we make great progress in the maturation of the Jewish world if a blue suit occasionally appeared in the Charedi or Yeshivish wardrobe ? Perhaps. But we would certainly undo the inferences that attach to certain types of dress that leave many Orthodox Jews wrongly embarrassed and ashamed of the behavior of “people like us.” They are not like us. We must love them as we would any wayward Jew, and rebuke them as we would any wayward Jew. Even wayward Jews wear costumes.

Then we can promulgate the new fashion styles – the new uniform – of the Torah Jew, where beauty, righteousness and piety are determined by what is inside – not what is on the outside – by deeds and Torah commitment and not by appearances.

May we never again hear someone say that “X looks frum.” No one can “look” frum; one can only “be” frum, which itself is not as admirable as being erliche. That lack of sophistication is atrocious, embarrassing, and corrosive to Jewish life and distorts the Torah beyond recognition. We know better than that, and we are better than that. In a free society, anyone can dress exactly like others or unlike others if he so chooses. But it says nothing about their values, only about their identification with one group or another. We should stop trusting people simply because they don black coats, black hats, and wear beards – or, for that matter, kippot serugot. All are costumes. None convey any real truths about the real person.

The true measure of every Jew – and every person – is always within.

RSP- For another perspective on this issue, please read the following at: http://www.cross-currents.com/archives/2011/12/29/welcoming-the-charedi-spring/#ixzz1iP31ZbUB

*I have seen one report attributing the violence to Toldos Aharon adherents, and another that Toldos Aharon is uninvolved. If they are indeed uninvolved, then I retract the reference to them and apologize. – RSP

The Beacon

The YU Beacon, a relatively obscure literary journal, earned itself some free publicity by publishing an article last week about a nocturnal tryst between a Stern College student and her boyfriend in a hotel room, after which she feels a deep sense of shame when she realizes that he doesn’t love her and just used her. It’s unclear whether it was fictional or non-fictional, an actual event or wishful thinking. But the scandal made national news, especially when the student council stripped the Beacon of its funding, if you call $500 a semester funding or money to offset the cost of Diet Cokes and Twizzlers consumed while assembling the journal.

But now they’ve gone too far. This week, they published an account of a Jewish leader, righteous and decent but grieving over some family tragedies, who catches the eye of a courtesan at the crossroads and hires her services. When he unable to pay cash up front, the wench takes some of his property as a pledge and then disappears. But at the end of the story, the nobleman saves her from certain death by owning up to his moment of weakness.  Another sordid tale ostensibly with a moral message…

Wait, that wasn’t the Beacon – that was the Torah in Parshat Vayeishev and the episode of Yehuda and Tamar! And the light of the Messiah entered the world.

So what do we make of these stories? The media focused on its obsession – freedom of the press and censorship – and whether Modern Orthodoxy is too modern – when, to me, the real story was elsewhere. How do we discuss sensitive, delicate, even prurient matters? In fourth grade, we just skipped over the story of Yehuda and Tamar; that’s one approach. It doesn’t work well. How can you transmit values when the subject matter, or the application of those values, are taboo, and unmentionable? Granted, despite the anonymous author’s best efforts, the average commercial on television is more risqué and suggestive than this short story; and granted, I can see why the “Yeshiva” side of the YU ledger was offended.

But there is, unfortunately, a seamy corner of the Jewish world that we would do well not pretending that it does not exist. It exists – it exists because the culture is that decadent, and because young people looking for love, attention and respect often seek it in the wrong places and in the wrong activities – and they wind up without love or respect, although they do capture the attention, temporarily at least, of the exploiters and predators.

It exists in our colleges – whether YU or Stern and certainly in secular colleges – and it exists in the holy Yeshivos where only men learn, and where we presume, falsely, that they are shielded from the world’s tawdriness. They are, for the most part, but not entirely, human beings being human beings. It exists in our high schools – with young men and women pretending they are adults having real relationships, and even teachers, administrators, and Rebbeim acting inappropriately and sometimes criminally. It exists in the self-styled holiest neighborhoods of Lakewood and Borough Park, and it exists in the self-styled modern, sophisticated neighborhoods like Teaneck and the Five Towns. We usually are forced to deal with it when we hear of arrests for abuse and molestation – dozens in certain communities in recent years – and when we learn that some of our teens and young adults have lost all sense of boundaries and propriety. We ignore it at our peril.

We ignore it because we are uncomfortable talking about it. We would rather skip this story of Yehuda and Tamar.  We would rather believe that our children going off to high school and college are as pure and naïve and darling as they were at their Bar/Bat Mitzvot. We would rather that the Messiah descends from Heaven in a chariot than have him born as a result of this dissolute rendezvous.

The Torah conceals little about human life from us – and we are forced to reckon with Lot and his daughters, Yehuda and Tamar, Zimri and Cozbi, and later with King David and Bat Sheva and a host of other stories. I too was scandalized, until I actually saw the story – an effective if contrived way to raise a pressing social issue with a challenge at the beginning and a lesson at the end. “How Do I Begin To Explain This?,” the title, introduces the anticipation and the excitement – but the story ends with the ill-disguised indifference felt by the man towards his trophy-person and the self-loathing of the women – now forced to do the “walk of shame” for selling herself so cheaply, ‘a “stupid mistake.” As Rav Kahana said in the Gemara in a not-unrelated context: “this too is Torah and I have to learn it” (Berachot 62a).

Ultimately, the problem rests not in censorship or permissiveness, but in failures of education and parenting – a failure to transmit our values and to convey our way of grappling with desire and gratification. We have to overcome the fear of discussing those very issues that can be the most troublesome but in the long term the most spiritually rewarding. It is only the areas in which we struggle that true spiritual greatness emerges.

If it causes one woman to retain her dignity and say “no,” the article was worth it. If the discussions of the seamier side of Jewish life cause even one young victim of abuse to turn to his/her parents and then immediately to the police, then the discussions were worth it. And if we debate amongst ourselves the propriety of the Torah’s inclusion of the story of Yehuda and Tamar, then we will not only fail to understand how the moral greatness of Yehuda and the persistence of Tamar were indispensable for the destiny of Israel – we will also not  perceive how amid all the tumult and sadness and recriminations surrounding the event, “G-d was busy as well creating the light of the King Messiah” (Breisheet Rabba 85:1), that will soon illuminate all of mankind.

On Courage

John Kennedy’s Pulitzer-Prize winning book (1956) “Profiles in Courage” is worth two readings, for it is as inspirational and timely today as when it was published.  Elegantly written by then-Senator Kennedy while he was convalescing from serious back surgery (I know, I know, everyone says Ted Sorensen actually wrote it; no matter), the book tells the story of nine Senators who exhibited political courage that, in their day and now, was exceedingly rare. Each Senator defied his party, and sometimes long-held convictions, to do what he thought was right at the time, even if widely unpopular. Some Senators won universal acclaim and re-election, others were disdained by the electorate and tossed from office at the first opportunity.

Bear in mind that until 1913, Senators were not elected by popular vote but were appointed by each state legislature. Thus the Senate was perceived more as a House of Lords than directly reflective of the people’s will, and many have argued – rightly so – that the caliber of Senator was much higher before he had to seek election like lesser politicians. (Kennedy himself almost concedes as much.) Most of the “courageous” Senators were then offending not their political bases – the citizens – but the small cadre of voters in the respective legislatures. And yet each acted in accordance with their consciences in defiance of the perceived wisdom and judgment of the time, and even when Kennedy admits that they might have been wrong (each decision was either appropriately liberal or too liberal) the courage they displayed was itself admirable.

Several Senators were caught in the maelstrom of the slavery debate – Daniel Webster, eloquent abolitionist acceding to the continuation of the Fugitive Slave Laws; Thomas Hart Benton, a staunch Southerner, agreeing to the non-extension of slavery to new states and territories – both in order to ensure the passing of the Compromise of 1850 to avert secession and civil war, and both vilified for it. Neither was a shrinking violent. Webster was one of the great orators of all time (without speechwriter or teleprompter), mesmerizing the audience with a speech on this occasion that schoolchildren were taught for decades and knowing he would be denounced by his strongest supporters. Benton – well, Benton can speak for himself. To another Senator:  “I never quarrel, sir. But sometimes I fight, sir; and whenever I fight, sir, a funeral follows, sir.”

Edmund Ross of Kansas – a bitter foe of President Andrew Johnson – nevertheless cast the decisive vote (against the will of his state and his own expressed determination to rid the country of that “traitor” to the South) that acquitted Johnson in his impeachment trial, simply because Ross felt the evidence to convict was insufficient. He was threatened (telegram from 1000 Kansans: “Kansas has heard the evidence and demands the conviction of the President;” Ross’ reply: “I do not recognize your right to demand that I vote either for or against conviction. I have taken an oath to do impartial justice according to the Constitution and laws, and trust that I shall have the courage to vote according to the dictates of my judgment and for the highest good of the country.”) He was offered a bribe of $20,000. (“There is a bushel of money! How much does the damned scoundrel want ?”) He voted “not guilty.” Friends offered him their pistols so he could shoot himself. He saved the Presidency, and perhaps the nation still torn by the aftermath of the Civil War, but was rejected for re-election and sentenced to a life of near-poverty.

Similarly, Mississippi’s Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar voted to accept the Commission Report that awarded the disputed presidential election of 1876 to Rutherford Hayes – anathema to the South. He too was subsequently reviled, as was George Norris, Republican of Nebraska, who voted against America’s entry into World War I, and Robert Taft (who died just a few years before the book was published), Mr. Republican of Ohio, who sabotaged his own presidential ambitions by opposing the Nuremberg Trials as ex post facto justice and a perversion of American ideals.

The common denominators were that they followed their consciences, an inner sense of right and wrong that transcended both party and crass political considerations, and displayed the sort of audacity that is both uncommon and unexpected today.

Kennedy wrote (again, it was 1955!): “Our political life is becoming so expensive, so mechanized and so dominated by professional politicians and public relations men that the idealist who dreams of independent statesmanship  is rudely awakened by the necessities of election and accomplishment.” It is a point well taken, exacerbated today because every politician’s every statement, musing, thought, decision or promise is recorded for all eternity, to be played over and over again by the mass media if he deviates one iota. He advocates what has become exceedingly rare today – the elected official who does not reflect public opinion in every vote but sees himself as elected by the people to vote his conscience and exercise his judgment, not theirs. But even Kennedy admits that might easily be a formula for electoral defeat – in which case what has the person really accomplished ? He might have been able to make a greater difference, even better serve the people, if he compromised on some issues in order to attain his cherished objectives.

Therein lies the irony of his theme as it relates to today’s politics. The lament of the Obama White House and the Democrat establishment is that the Republicans “refuse to compromise.” I.e., the Republicans  – in large part, although not completely and not all of them sincerely – refuse to continue being the “tax collectors for the welfare state” (as Newt Gingrich – a name back in the news – once famously derided the Bob Dole Republicans). There has always been an expectation in Washington that when all the shouting and screaming stopped and all the name-calling subsided, both parties would come to their “senses” and raise taxes and distribute the burgeoning government pie to their favored constituencies.

But that “courage to compromise” is really cowardice, as well as a classic example of failed politicians who do not act in the public interest but simply see the levers of government as their ticket to re-election, power and wealth. The Tea Party has tried to end that, to the consternation of official Washington; whether they will succeed or fail (i.e., be corrupted) remains to be seen. It is easy for Republicans to get sucked in to the mindset that the system is broken, so they might as well exploit it for their own purposes – more spending, earmarks, special deals, insider trades, etc. Courage for the Republican is to hold firm, steadfastly refuse to increase taxes or spending, and shrink government. (Americans seem to love “big government,” especially when someone else – the rich! – are paying for it.) But true courage would be a Democrat flouting his party, and voting to decrease spending, limit government’s power, and allow people to exercise personal responsibility over their own lives. That would be courageous, but electorally foolhardy as the Democrat base essentially feeds off the government trough.
For sure, courage comes in many forms and can be found (or missed) in many professions. There are many rabbis who keep silent in the face of adversity, challenges, or assaults on Torah, Israel or the Jewish people simply because it is convenient to remain silent – who will never act until they see who else is acting. They are not leaders in any sense. Kennedy often quoted Dante: “the hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in a time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality,” or, I suppose, just vote “present” rather than commit themselves.

Conversely, Andrew Jackson was fond of saying, “One man with courage makes a majority.” It is no shame to be a minority in a worthy cause; no human being was ever in a smaller minority that our father Avraham.

But the courageous man is himself a majority, and such can and should be found in every person, every profession and every walk of life, and among good people everywhere.

Media Distortions

The secular media’s knowledge of Judaism ranges from the commonplace to the laughably ignorant. The Daily Mail last month captioned a phonograph of Jared Kushner walking on Succot with his wife and child, and carrying a lulav and etrog, as holding some sort of “bouquet of flowers” for his wife.       Several years ago, the august New York Times Magazine, discussed the banishment of the yetzer hara in early Mishnaic times, and translated the Anshei Knesset Hagedola (Men of the Great Assembly) as “men from a great synagogue.” The Newark Star Ledger once described as among the outreach efforts of non-Orthodox Jews in Lakewood to the Christian population as “inviting them to sit shiv’a with us.” How thoughtful.

We expect more, of course, from Jewish media, but without much justification for that sentiment. Thus, many read JTA’s report last week of an “Orthodox Rabbi” officiating at a same-sex marriage in Washington DC. Whatever the rabbi is, and whatever his personal qualities, Orthodox he is not. An avowed homosexual himself, who lives with his partner with their newly-adopted child, the person in question certainly has strayed far from Orthodoxy. Such conduct is naturally described as brave, courageous, and daring – but it takes neither bravery nor courage just to dismiss explicit mandates of the Torah and carry on as if Judaism is a personal heirloom that one can cavalierly discard or distort. Certainly, if a self-described “Orthodox Rabbi” suddenly interrupted Yom Kippur services to invite the congregation to dine on pork and cheeseburgers, that decision might be popular, certainly innovative, but not courageous and daring. No one would entertain that such conduct is permitted by Torah law, and no one would call such a rabbi “Orthodox.”

The derring-do has been greeted mostly by rabbinic silence, born of the preposterousness of the act itself. Most organizations have ignored it, and, on one hand, not unreasonably. For who in his right mind would ever assume that the Torah endorses, celebrates, or permits same-sex marriages? To issue a public denunciation would be tantamount to decrying the Yom Kippur conduct described above, and give the conduct more attention than it deserves.

But on the other hand, the turbulence of Orthodox Jewish life – especially in the antics of its leftist fringe element – is such that allowing this misconduct to pass without protest will enable the confused and bewildered, willfully or unintentionally, to consider that it is within the range of possibility that same-sex marriage can be condoned by the Torah. Silence allows even a small window of doubt to open, and silence allows that doubt to fester and swell.
Jewish law is unequivocal in its condemnation of same-sex relationships – barring the physical contact itself, the seclusion of two homosexuals by themselves in a private room, and, of course, their “marriage” – and this regardless of society’s “evolution.” Indeed, the Gemara (Chulin 92b) underscores that one of the redeeming features of the ancient pagans was that, although they engaged in homosexual activities (in violation of the Noachide laws), even they did not deign to draft “marriage contracts for males.”

Perhaps the “rabbi’s” Torah study never encompassed that tractate. It apparently excluded several others as well. One hopes that he finds some internal peace and contentment, and remains faithful.

For sure, there is an element of sadness that attaches both to the event and its criticism, and therefore a simple protest and media advisory suffices. No one wants to pile on. The plight of the avowed homosexual evokes sympathy and pain, but even that must defer to a clear articulation of the truth of Torah. If it was clear from which institution the “rabbi” received his ordination, they too should issue a demurral. Rumor has it that the institution from which he claims ordination denies actually ordaining him.

No matter. It is sufficient to reiterate the obvious, enunciated by a broad spectrum of Rabbis and announced by the Rabbinical Council of America not long ago: “the Torah, which forbids homosexual activity, sanctions only the union of a man and a woman in matrimony.”

That is clear, definitive and authoritative. Media – Jewish and secular – take notice. And never assume that a Jew on staff is necessarily an expert on, or even remotely familiar with, Judaism. The “men from a great synagogue,” and their followers, deserve no less.